BTG 04 - Balance, Ambition, Fairness

[Music] hey what's going on guys Dave that lon he with Robert Drysdale and we're in our fourth episode of breaking the guard um we've been gone for a bit just jump me back in we're actually both in Costa Rica recently just got back yeah yeah awesome time now there I'm considering getting rid of my gym getting rid of voltages to find a fishing boat moving to taman ayun to Costa Rica and just fish it for a living what I like man it's a beautiful thing it's very nice yeah actually I got to go there before Robin I was there for like three weeks beautiful country we both went to the same place arrow Academy which is also a charity that helps the kids there they trained them for free and there are amazing kids there so China - Ron Jarman piri Academy in Roma's ah thank you Ron for the hospitality and and safe place - yeah like I went down there I never like I grew up in Brazil so I have like the alarms go off very easy you know a certain area I just get kind of like okay this is not I'm in danger you just feel that you know yeah you're like a heavy neighborhood and you don't want to you know you don't feel safe but Costa Rica I never felt that like I felt safe the whole time it was very very American friendly making a lot of people speak English so yeah recommended especially that area we're at were the Tamarindo it's like a beach town very small beach town literally one dirt road that goes around and so I followed or as many as many Americans and Canadians who moved there to live as Costa Ricans I feel like the population was like a 50/50 that probably why so many people speak English well they have actually favorable tax laws for foreigners you kind of get foreign investment yeah so I think they very very like zero to no taxes over there oh wow so yeah because that still fishing boat it is that fishing boat it is actually we had people in the cabin they were looking at houses to buy land everyone that goes there has the same idea yes like very few people have the courage but I think it's the kind of life that our people aspire to to live one day when they retire you ever hear the story of the man the businessman I just love the story Oh No so it goes like this so guys fishing you know I on the water so I say Costa Rica businessman walks episode you know how many how many hours you fish a day like two or three hours oh how many fish to catch I got maybe one or two just enough for me my family okay it goes why don't you fish for eight hour today and he goes why would I do that well if you fish longer you catch more fish and then you could you know just have more fish and what am I going to do with that well if you have more fish you could sell in the market and make some money why would I do that maybe both oh if you got more money you can buy more rods and then you can fish more fish why would I do that and it goes well you have more fish you could sell more fish in the market make more money and then buy a boat why would I do that so we can go out see catch even more fish why would I do that and he goes well if you had a lot of fish cumulate you know sold a lot of fish should make a lot of money and then you'd be able to sit around the beach and fish all day you know so it's you know it makes you question all these things that were on it I call it the treadmill you're sprinting to stay in the same place you sprint sprint sprint cuz it you gotta be got to make more more you make it a hundred right here is not enough I gotta make double that much and you just see more and more money and then it gets to the point where like is there a moment where you're gonna slow down and actually just enjoy life a little bit you know it's it makes you question a lot of things it's a very slow pace but I feel it's natural I feel like we the environment we live in today is not a natural environment we are way over works were stressed out we I think that we've never been so stressed out in the history of human civilization I think this is probably the most stressed-out people I've ever been we've never worked so much with never bissell ambitious alright and like just living like that it's not who I am you know I got I know you know you're a great you're a grind or two and that's not our natures to sit back like that but it feels natural like that's kind of way the way things should be like it doesn't like not being stressed as natural that makes sense yeah you know I think it's interesting cuz this I also ties in kind of competition I feel but your level of ambition will essentially keep pushing to go for more yeah and there's a lot of the competitors particularly have this fallacy that I'm gonna get this gold medal and a win this championship and then that's gonna satisfy them yeah and it really doesn't like Oh No there's always another milestone and say okay I want it I have to defend it or I have to unify this title or have to grab something else so like if your ambition is limitless which a lot of it is are they're gonna keep being hungry and then you get guys like BJ Penn for example who's been fighting for players 20 years now and he still wants to fight but there's really nothing left for him to prove yeah yeah there's a candle where do you go from there yeah yeah but the eyes of a true fan not like these tough newbies rather jump they've got the trolls yeah but they'll know anything about fighting like he started idle you know he was the first American I think the window munos yes right you want the UFC title you know he's fought all over the place the guy's a legend but yeah it's his later and some people think he's lost his money or not I from my understanding he comes from a wealthy families it's he he just can't stop like it is hence the treadmill yeah like you're on Luda it's like you're on the trouble you have to run run run and it's just you're not really because where do you go from there like once you achieve what BJ Penn isn't you like where do you go from there and I think that guys still get a kick out of just being in the cage and just you know it's you've been doing it for so long and I know so many of my friends they can't retire for the same reason yeah you know the heart is not even that they're barely trained but they still enjoy you know doing I just being in the spotlight and just step it in the cage and fighting and well it's good money even when a guy with his name like win or lose is making good money yeah so I think there's so that be said about learning how to change your your ambition and adapt because yeah as a fighter you really have like maybe 15 20 years depending on when you start yeah before you you're going to the point where you gonna start hurting yourself and or defending yourself you know and I think that's a lot also like you see a lot of people doing performance-enhancing drugs and all that because that's going to extend the shelf life beyond yeah natural limits yeah I mean but they have to be able to direct that energy and move it into something else like a lot of people obviously go to the coaching angle or open up a school and now they're doing martial arts and drive their ambition into something else because otherwise you're just gonna run yourself into the ground you know doing this and fall apart and it's it's a tough spot like I know we've had this discussion of their private before and like I've retired about two or three years ago and it's exactly I feel that you have to reinvent yourself but you have to do like what am I gonna do I'm just gonna be a coach and I love coaching I love teaching and I love teaching seminars I love the art you know love jiu-jitsu I love teaching MMA it's not the same thing as when it's about you I mean it's a different kind of satisfaction like I get a satisfaction out of what I'm watching my my students win but it's not the same thing it's a different kind of feel and uh yeah it's it's not an easy transition for a lot of people make I know I struggle with it and uh but like you're right like there's a actually believe there's a limit you know - how many squats you can do in a lifetime how many double legs how many triangles however she walks like a there's like a life like XM Iko 10,000 double legs later or whatever the case is you know and we very genetically like some of us take better care of our bodies like we're healthier we do better you know like we just we have a better shelf life than other people but think of it as like a vehicle like no matter how well you take care of your vehicle there's only so many miles that could drive there's gonna be a minute that a car is gonna be like okay it's time this is this is junk now you can't see fit with it okay same thing happens to the body like it's a ticket we had this idea lista caproni I feel that some people believe that oh if only I eat healthy it take really good care of myself I'm gonna be super healthy when I'm 80 I'm like if you're 80 and you're able to be super health in all these activities I guarantee you are not a professional athlete when you were twenty thirty and that's amazing that people that age can still work out and do stuff nothing is incredible but I can almost guarantee you those before not professional athletes because when you train like a professional athlete for 20 years of your life what you're doing is you're your agent so much faster internally right like your joints are aging your lower back your neck is aging so much faster than it would then if you just had a can or my life right it's not normal to train twice a day six days a week that's not match for 20 years train at high intensity to not just oh I'm going for a swim little Yoga fun they're like no we're talking like I'm trying to beat you into the ground every day of my life it's not a metaphor yeah absolutely you're putting a lot more mileage and even if you're doing all your oil changes and tire rotations it's like you're driving your car to California at 150 miles an hour for twenty years straight like I don't care how good your vehicle is it's gonna break down eventually so um there is a life too it's like I advise athletes to be intelligent about how they train and take recovery seriously even if you don't feel that you need to recover and stretch and do all this stuff do it because it will extend out that shelf life right yeah I'm in that process you're smarter than I am let me talk about the lawyer you actually do more like you know you take better care of yourself in it I've been better about stretching I've been doing that much at least alright I just actually pulled my bicep the other day this overt overtraining a bit I just finished doing a back and bicep yeah and I'm like let me get some heavy bag work starting the bag I throw open left hook it just pull my arm pop by in the middle yeah cuz your muscles aren't prepared for it you know it's probably like what a long time to do throw a left hook right well though I've been doing it everything the bag was okay I had done burnout so everything's a failure so oh I see so the auto is already tight anybody went a little bit too far but now I've been sitting out for like four or five days because what it is man yeah it's so you know what like deep down you always knew that though like you always knew there that pride no regrets man like I would never recommend someone old don't train I'm like you know it's fine I can't when people walk through the door of my gym I tell them you did too isn't healthy everyone's like why would you choose a health it's not healthy it's mentally healthy it's not even physically health you stop lying it's not true it's gonna destroy your joint yeah if you go really really easy you know twice a week it's not but like are you really getting a lot out of it if you only train it twice a week at a low intensity if you want to get good at it you're gonna have to train at high intensity and that's gonna call the cause but I tell it to people it's mentally healthy which is a kind of health I really I really care about for sure like I've lived my life I mean I'd rather that had very happy life primarily because I've been so engaged I'm sure you can relate to new and I'm so involved and so immersed in a moment and it's given me so much meaning it's like everything that would normally throw people off track psychologically didn't bother me like the stuff that would bother most people like I didn't I didn't know what anxiety was until like I retired I like what was this like people talking about a no idea what I had no idea what I'm talking about and after I retired like oh wow that's um people are talking about like I started dealing with Asia - people deal with their whole lives but it's because I do just to keep you so mentally healthy you know such a beautiful place to be well it's kinda like that mean they have where shows a guy coming from work and he has all the little thought bubbles about stress about work yeah and then when he gets into training he's like uh the only thing he's thinking about is watch out for the armbar yeah uh trying on then when your face is training he's just clear minded you know I I feel like kind of the same way as use like stress wise when you train for combat and you doing MMA and ground-and-pound and all that you realize like what people normally stress it but like oh this girl doesn't like me or I'm gonna get bad grades that means nothing compared to survival yeah yeah yeah but like first world problems and like these are the kind of social problems that we've created which are harder to get away from in modern life right I I feel like when you said like we're much more stress and we are not because we have a lot more needs a lot more rules yeah because of the abundance that we have yeah where we don't really worry about survival exactly survival yeah comes so easy it's not anybody can survive yeah you don't even have to do the effort yourself you got well your hair so people support you so like survival is very low end in America at least you know I mean like in a first world country like we are survival is not really a and life has gotten so easy I feel that it's we have so much free time on our hands there are people literally making fortunes talking about being successful versus actually now the people if you have developing skills anymore it's like talking about skills has become a skill so weird name when you think about it like that ie you know me like I hate these motivational speakers I think they're a bunch of crooks you know they got nothing to say in rally but like they're talking about success they're talking about doing it well you get Tony Robbins he talks about business business business like you never end of it but he's telling people how to run away even though he's never done it like his business is talked about business which is a strange thing when you think about it cuz normally it's like you have a skill I'm a plumber I'm a I'm a carpenter I call righties jiu-jitsu or I you know like there's a skill that that serves a practical purpose in society all right jiu-jitsu probably doesn't really fit in that category we could probably go without jiu-jitsu for the most part but like there's certain things like you can't imagine a world without a plumber that would suck all right not having a plumbing system gonna be horrible I can easily imagine a world without motivational speakers I don't feel like they bring their certain professions are absolutely necessary but like life has become so abundant that you know it's created these categories that aren't really practical like there are all these people that are making money and being successful at things that all really bring anything to the table right so it's more ideas that they're trading in yeah it's services or actually it's emotional I think to some extent like it's an emotional fulfilling like people like hearing what they want to hear and they they feel good about themselves after a talk like that like now I'm motivated to do something with my life I don't know but like you're right it's it's I think it's a reflex of the abundance we live in like when life has never been so easy I'm convinced I think we live better a poor person in the United States lives better than kings did 500 years ago that's me that's a very I sort of access to salsa is actually you know so I think that essentially created because we always need to have problems yeah we're conflict resolution machines there's zero conflict there's pretty much no reason to live yeah right there's always a pro life is horrible for problems yeah a life devoid of problems is absolutely if there is nothing worse than I'm not very interesting problems when you have no problems I give you look at every celebrity that's a draw it's nice and that like you need a challenge so you know you need to be challenged I think Joe Rogan is a big proponent of challenging yourself physically absolutely and try to take away from all the mental stress that people have just go in the gym and kill yourself you know get something in there so you can feel a struggle yeah you know because the emotional struggles are very tricky to play with and yeah we're very well we're weary under-equipped I'm dealing with him as well you know like most people don't know how to handle emotional problems at the level that a physical one your physical ones are easier to see they're right in front of you a lot of people like psychologically don't know how to deal with problems they put them in the back of the head and in manifestations but that's another light sign of the age I feel like people see problems as something that oh that's bad like okay I understand sometimes we have like there's there's a lot going on everyone gets stressed out but like for the most part you're right like we are problem-solving machines we enjoy that I think that's one thing that we all have to better ourselves that like I tried this a lot is trying to improve on myself in the sense where I embraced those problems as challenges it's like jiu-jitsu that's how I look at life right get caught in a triangle you know you have to figure out how to get out of the tribe it's a problem you got to solve it that being said like sometimes we curate problems and we stress ourselves out over things that aren't really that important and I think that's the real key is like focus on the stuff that matters yeah I know I spend a lot of time like focus on things that don't really matter they're not really important grand scheme of things but they stress you out at any rate I try to think of everything in those survival problems yeah if this is not gonna affect me from living it's not a serious problem yeah right this is essentially I created a problem my head which is fine if I wanted to but it shouldn't stress me out to the point where I lose sleep or I'm getting into fights with you know my friends and family over it it shouldn't be to that level you know and 99% of people don't really have those survival calls yeah that's a but that's a rational approach stressing out over meaningless things is it emotional thank you it's very difficult you can tell yourself all day that it is irrational to stress over something that doesn't really affect your life what you're saying but it's something completely different to apply that into your life so very different things it's hard thing to do or you're right like I told myself that too I go like yeah it shouldn't matter but it still but you know like it's still like it still bothers you you know should yeah I'm an engineer the logic and rationality come naturally to that's good man I guess that's a guy guy it's it's a gift but I think I I mean I would like to say that I'm not an emotional like I am like I am an emotional person who's in my own way yeah and I think that yeah you got to balance these things out you know and I think did you to teaches that man like I told you just really balances people out one example like a little switching gears or a little bit one thing that I got or get a lot when parents walk through the door is their word that their child is like either too aggressive or under-confident I always tell this and I feel very confident about this that it's it's true is that jujitsu level you out it brings you to where you're supposed to be is a very mild in the middle individual so if you're overconfident you're gonna get beat up by someone half your size sure kind of put you back in your place so the bully goods in the gym and goes well I'm not as awesome as I thought I was I just get got my butt kicked by the 13 year old green belt you know and then you get the kid who can't even make eye contact is very shy very awkward and he walks into the gym and he just starts winning all of a sudden it's like it just boosts his confidence you know like you see his posture changes you can see even the way they walk in the way they talk to you changes over time so it's I think that's that got added benefit of martial arts that people overlook he people focus on the self-defense in the physical aspect but as far as the the confidence and the how what should improve on your character I think that's probably the biggest the best benefit of what this did this art has to offer and it's overlooked people don't pay a lot of attention or sure and I was gonna bring that up when you were talking about motivational speakers that we have because they said I think there's a place for it and they're trying to instill these virtues but like in a laboratory environment just kind of injecting them into you yeah whereas when you're doing the martial arts you're gaining them through experience through actual it's inside out it's real yeah it's something that starts I got a hundred percent agreement right so that's why I love about it for me them like we said this before I'll say it again though like if you were to offer me all the fortunes and magical powers of the world but you have to strip my martial arts experience I wouldn't take because you would kill me I'm no longer me anymore yeah that big dub dubby that is your biggest rush you take it for granted oh you take it for granted when you think about it like I know I do like I'll be it's the greatest treasure you're a becoming who you are and the experience you gained over time and how this these experiences shape you into who you and then II and you know as long as you love yourself of course you're completely happy with who you are yeah it's the best biggest treasure you have is your experience I wouldn't I would not trade trade it for all the money if they take my jiu-jitsu experience for all the money in the world I wouldn't do it yeah I wouldn't do it I can't I have to win okay I have all this money but who am I now yeah exactly I bought my identity entirely this sucks so like to me that's the value of it and it instills all these virtues but like kind of like silently and really go I'm not saying I'm gonna teach you confidence because you're gonna do this no like you're gonna gain the confidence as you get better and you improve so I think it's a better entry it's a better vehicle for learning values versus me telling you this is what confidence is and this and how someone displays confidence and that's what I need like it's artificial it's artificial it's really I mean some people can pick it up like that and I mean god bless him but most people have a hard time in god bless I'm like I don't know how that works like I can't imagine I cuz I learn from experience like you can tell me not to stick my arm in there and get triangle a million times like I have to get triangle three or four times for me to learn the lesson and my experience as a coach is exactly that you tell people yeah you shouldn't like stick your arm out there they're gonna do it they're gonna do it three four times and then from that experience it's like they're learning in they're absorbing information the more natural and efficient way like the artificial injection just listen to people talk about you prove it on yourself I personally think it's very but like you know some people different everyone's different your speed for myself all right I mean I think that's true for any but anything that's why most people love doing this sport as I said because it's not the health it's thing in the world even though that's not a good thing to say I mean I should be the last time my livelihood depends on this but I I like to tell people the truth and like so they don't create expectations in oh my god I think it doesn't stop you from training though like I tell them that like it does I don't think anything like turn around leave I'm not gonna try that too so hard I'm like it's gonna hurt but you get over at me and like you know it's not it's nice you know it's a there sports are way worse I think football's worse I think I'm definitely boxing them MA I think dirt bikes like man that's like diaspora to physically remote health yeah you know there's a lot of unhealthy stuff out there but yeah did you twos you know it's part it's not the worst it's just not that I wouldn't call it I think probably swimming is like yeah physically healthy you know like maybe like a light little jog I think repetition can message shoulders over time or drowning but yeah they're like yeah you hide there's no impact like it's probably the healthiest sport out there think so boring for you know my my mother was like Olympic caliber swimmers a very accomplished swimmer she tried give me into swimming when I was a kid and I just it's so boring like nothing I jog and I hate jog I'll do it but like I don't like it like if you're doing an outdoor uses battery if you do like I did hike or something it's kind of cool it's the visuals but in the school you don't think it's the same stuff it's just it is hard yeah except very demanding and you don't get anything out of it like there's no I don't know broken love suspended she's everything I know some people like it was not more to Barbados I should go on the beach and you just swim out wait out and I'm like the parent like back because there's waves and if I can't reach you I can't save you yeah if I could yeah I remember at one point she kept going and I chased her and then there was a Riptide and it took us a good 10 minutes swimming against this rough man yelling man exhaustion Swimming's me know we were on I was just like we wouldn't like snorkeling in Costa Rica and like I'm gonna swim that little beach over which seems like super close it's like oh they'll be there in five minutes like 30 minutes later I'm like out of breath yeah like next thing you know like I'm drinking salt water cuz like the water is not home you know and as I hope my dis socks I turn around I got close to the beach and I gotta turn around because is it's very physically demanding oh yeah yeah because I think weight and itself is it's one way of measuring so because I always seems someone's heavier you know associate that with they have more muscle mass or whatnot so it's in the equal contest I guess the whole idea supposed to be quality right yeah we make these weight divisions so that you don't have a 140 pound guy fighting on 2050 yeah yeah absolutely obviously we can look at that and it is an advantage weight is a factor when you getting some people or like 115 you might have someone else is 150 even though there are the same weight it's still not a fair contest because maybe like you said someone has just heart is bigger yeah double tendons and one night I ridiculous great but so then we can't make it like a if it was a hundred percent level playing field physically which I guess would be the ideal because how high it is to measure who's got the better technique and who's got the better mental faculties right but but that's an itself another thing that might not be equal as well yeah and and you said the I did the you said the key border is ideal yeah the ideal is you know that ever it's a matter of work ethic and everything else the same and the truth is sports are not fair the world's not fair and it starts from the day you were born like it's just a reality of things if you're short and you're never gonna play in the NBA if you're tall you're never gonna be an elite gymnast for you to be an elite gymnast you have to be short look in the gymnasts they're not tall there's a reason for that right like so your genetics setting determines you know what sports you're gonna be apt to be good at under exceptions you can talk about the exceptions but I don't exceptions don't tell the story they tell a very small piece of the story you have to look at the average the average gymnast is short there's a reason for that you know the quality's 4-digit so i think you know for assisting to in main and grappling there's a lot of them are psychological yeah and you can't even begin to measure those which what makes it more interesting as a sport i feel is that there is so much variance because there's a lot of skill sets you have to learn you know when you compare the difference between boxing to MMA is enormous because you opened up first row rather than having just two weapons we potentially have eight you know punches elbows knees kicks and then you also have all the grappling and they're wrestling in the jumpsuit so it's why I still don't think there's an ideal body type that's been discovered yet yeah although fighters seem to be getting taller yeah I remember when I was like they get a 90s like if you're like 185 170 you're around 510 511 and that was like a good height now it's like 6-2 6-3 yes you know reaches obviously you know my favorite movies of all time it's called Gattaca ever seen yeah that's it's such a great movie and I think we're really moving that direction it's just a matter of time before you're you're buying better jeans for your children if you haven't seen it I think it's a 1999 movie yes yeah it's such a great movie but it's basically talks about it not too far not too distant future where you are picking and choosing what kind of jeans your children will have and you know you you you breed your children to be outstanding anything like basketball players piano players I swear the piano players all six fingers like why not seven you know so they're the crazy thing about genetics is that you know we don't even fully comprehend the extent to which we may be able to manipulate it in the future and it's it's a very interesting topic it's a very curious one to me too and I think it's about to create a lot of discussion and controversy because where the limits now but I'm talking about fairness let's talk about fairness you're buying your children you know an enormous advantage on a gift given sport now let's say let's call it football you you know you breed your child and Natalie be like an NFL player of course you're gonna do better why you're surprised you can like you imagine me to tweak like mental traits to them might make you better more apt for for a sport like football for example or in the Navy for that matter of anything huge advantage imagine you could do that would how would how would you begin to talk about fairness with that sort of a background you know and I think it did it the whatever fairness it'll exists now is gonna be out the window once we get there they think that's what kind of rubs people the wrong way because they want the illusion that it's a level playing field you just have to put in the time and everybody has a saint chance every X it's a myth and it's now a Galica is a great example of that Mook is at the protagonist movie it's not a spoiler he is like the last of a old generation that was born now actually they call them there's a name for they call them natural the thing I think it's the war David there's a name for yeah so he doesn't have all these genetic gifts that everybody else has or he does he just but like it's he's a normal person he thought he had some gift but he can't even compare yeah and if you wanted to swim you wouldn't stand a chance exactly and he had to essentially his whole story was he does use incredible amounts of willpower you know to overcome where he's at but you know there's a certain extent where you see in that bully it was kind of idealistic in a sense that it was just a gentle willpower was enough to overcome his physical disadvantages and the whole thing was the people with the physical advantages had essentially and mental disadvantage because they didn't need to be us they didn't even work as hard yeah to achieve you know what you had to so yeah he had developed a stronger will just by virtue of being physically impaired yeah yeah and and that right there is an interesting discussion because it brings us to a very controversial discussion of the sciences which is a matter of the will to what degree is that a is there's a deterministic approach and there there's a well I don't know you're absolutely in charge of your own decisions and will will outdo anything and even that right there's some extent might be genetic to determine some people might have more Drive than others and that may be genetically determined as well it's not out in the open you know I mean dogs they're they they they tend to breed trait and if exactly and if the same is true for humans which were part of the natural world just like any other animal then yes these traits will be genetically determined so yes some people would have a higher degree of will and you know the person next to them very interesting discussion to me this is fascinating and it's very controversial something that science so very far from understanding from what I know like it's very controversial they don't agree if scientists do not agree on this there's a lot of discussion and I mean sports is like one arena where this discussion yes yeah because it's it's not it's it's not the same not everyone even I could think of myself at for example like I've always been very flexible right but I've never been very powerful I've never had a lot of never been a powerful individual I've never been like you put me sprinting I'm not a good sprinter I never was like I can't but you know bench press or squat I never have been that guy but I've always been very flexible and people always ask me they go Rob are you you stretch a lot of it no I don't stretch at all like no you gotta be stretching I like like when I was younger could put the lake my legs behind my head it was not difficult because it was just naturally flexible right so I imagine like that goes for everything there's some things that I mean imagine how to work my flexibility it would have been the torsion dismayed by being exceptionally flexible right but I think that a lot of things that are there are traits that we have that that are just so naturally I got Xavier Rafael Dominguez yeah he could get a job tomorrow it served as soleil if you want without even trying like you see you'd think that he's in the circus all day you would think that he's a gymnast he's never done anything he just does Jiu Jitsu and he do a backflip here you know he moves like an engine so it's just his natural gift to move like a cat you know I don't have that like I try moving like that I can't live like that it's not a matter of will my body does not move I have to set my weight as well but yeah it's just I think even like there's so much debt that is that it's the term buy it's not a pure will love it yeah and I think that's something people have to be grown-up about and realize that it's not equal there's no level playing field yeah it is what it is but it shouldn't stop you from playing the game absolutely all right like whether if we're in a hill there might be some people that start here you might start here yeah you know but you still want to get up that hill but I I this reminds me our argument I make a lot of times one why I teach seminars always open up for Q&A writes one of the most common questions I get is a lightweight will ask me Rob I get smashed by everyone at the gym all right and what do I do and I say you are privileged like this you are lucky to get smashed and you're lucky to be lighter because jiu-jitsu is harder for a heavier weight what do you mean it's harder you're winning they're like yeah that's exactly why it's harder how do you learn when you're always winning it's harder to learn when you're winning it is easier to learn when they're losing so going back to your Hill analogy let's say I'm here and you're here for you to be where I'm at you have to run this much more you will experience jiu-jitsu to a degree that I didn't have I don't experience because you're gonna have to run so much more than me so in a way having a disadvantage should be looked at as a privilege it's something good if you have that outlook on life right if you just want the reward I just want the recognition the metal of the belt whatever then yeah okay being light and unathletic sucks okay but if you're looking at it from a growth perspective when you're looking at life or sports for that matter from a perspective of I really want to improve on myself then being unearthed Leduc is an advantage because you're gonna get more more steps out of the journey than someone who is extremely athletic ever well even if they become a UFC champion you don't it's like you've experienced more because it was so much harder it's been like that Galica example again because I talked about this in one of my blogs but something that as a teacher what we value more than anything is someone who is consistent and dedicated that comes all the time and I was talking about oh it's just a one two fight kid that's really annoys everybody hey you're gonna be fighting with us mud hole be something I'll be coming yeah yeah like I said he's not exceptional anywhere as far as technically he's like he's okay boxer he's good at wrestlers at decent grappling but his exceptionality is his cardio and he says able to consistently apply pressure to the point where people can't keep up with him yeah and now that's his exceptional Trey yeah his consistent output right and I was saying the same could be true you know for anybody if you consistently show up to training all the time you'll outdo people who might be technically more better than you or stronger than you just because you're getting more experienced by the results and your learn better right and what happens is a lot of people who are naturally talented and I'm sure you've seen as many as I have they just wither away because if you have the gun normal level of ambition and you're naturally athletic you're achieve success early without putting as much output and that might be enough for you it means it means less yeah and I'm good with that and there's nothing wrong with that you're safe but you're not going to achieve as much because you're already satisfied early yes is somebody who's hungry at the bottom it has to work twice as hard to get where you're at chances are they are they're hungry for more too because like you your appetite grows as you accomplish more you like oh I could do this yeah I'm gonna try to go for more take people who start climbing mountains they climb and I'm okay one and then they die a hundred percent agree with and I think that is it is something that will strengthen your character yeah going through that hardship right of battling and having to climb higher than the person next to you because you started lower right um that is studies you strengthens your character and in some ways I feel like I have to be honest because like when I was a kid I was not a good athlete at all like I remember this well when I was I played soccer that girl from Brazil's a lot of soccer yeah people would pick teams and always went the really good kids and there was a mediocre kids and then me and then all the fat kids I was like in-between the mediocre kids and the fat kids like I was that guy right and it's been like that every sport of her practice and in jiu-jitsu I was not talented at all I people like all your foolish like no man I was trust me I remember well my first few months like I was getting beat by everyone I remember like my best friend I introduced him to jiu-jitsu six months in to meet trained in jiu-jitsu right so after one month of him training he was tapping me and I've been trained were seven months we're the same size yeah it destroyed me mentally make houses possibly means so much more to me than it means to him you didn't care you just tapped it he just gifted right and he's beating me with month one month in but in a way that was single-handedly my best friend because that what which is exactly were describing at home no no I'm gonna figure this out like I don't care it's hard for me I don't care they for thought I'm not gifted like this is gonna be single-handedly the most important thing in the world to me and I was always the most competitive guy in the gym like that was my strength it wasn't the fact I wasn't stronger faster than anyone or more technical I was now never been more technical technical guy in the gym but I'm probably always feel like I was the most competitive guy in the gym like that was my strength right and that came from exactly the fact that it was so hard from in the beginning when I started so I relate to that a lot and I think that in the way like going back to what I was saying like being at a disadvantage is an advantage yeah because it will strengthen you in ways that you know you may not be you would if you are gifted you know you would have not been strength in my way there's it my girlfriend s that means our ego but there's a Japanese art form I don't remember the title of it but essentially what it says is that when in Japan when they break a piece of China or whatnot rather than throw it away they'll fix it by gluing it together what now but when they fix it they'll actually use like gold or silver to fill in the cracks so it essentially it creates a unique art form yeah and this article is essentially see that's not way to do with ourselves right like when we have a flaw it's just an opportunity to fill it in with something beautiful yeah right so like and there's lots of stories of people who have you know deficits so the speaker you know disadvantages and they turn a disadvantage into an asset ya know and I think everybody has flaws yeah the most part right so we have to find a way of not defining yourself by oh this is I'm broken then this is why like no this might have been an issue with me but I've fixed it in such a way where now I'm stronger because of it yeah I'm more beautiful or whatever the case may be but there there are those freak athletes that I mentioned where for example someone like yo murmur oh yeah he's probably from outer space yeah yeah well I think these guys are just like a they're easily gifted with Jonjo so when you have somebody who has natural abilities and also has a high level of ambition then your problem that's that's when you get like III call that the Mozart Effect yeah but why was Mo's are incredible he was gifted I'm sure he was gifted but what else she was also born in Austria which was the capital of classical music in the world at the time right he's father was Austin musician he also had the ambition he had he had a passion for music you combine that with the talent and now you get that's how you get him Mozart you know have a yo Romero he was born in Cuba too has a very strong tradition in wrestling had he been born in Paraguay we don't never know them yeah you know so it where you are plays a role I mean that we haven't the right coach is the right track I think there's a number of factors that a lot of moving parts and creating someone they highly successful at GSP for example it's not just one thing and I if I had to rank and I think you'd probably agree with me if I had to rank I think single handily the most important thing here is your your motivation your will your desire and I think even deeper than that how what does it mean to you right because I think that's the big thing that a lot of competitors get wrong is they're doing it for the wrong reasons and motivation is something that changes over time like I think that you know sometimes fighters are you start because you want to prove yourself the world and you end your career you're just doing it for the money to feed your family their motivation Shana's along the way and we see this happen right but I think when you're doing it for the right reasons that's when you skyrocket and when that right reason is always internal at least to me like they're not what I mean by internal is I'm doing it because I love it because I got to prove it to myself that I can do the very pure reasons I think when you're doing it for external reasons I'm glad for the money for the popularity because I want to get a sponsor because I want I get a Twitter follower so like it when you're doing it for those reasons your motivation is short-lived and it's and it's your I can't see you being exceptional with that sort of motivation because you're doing it for the wrong reasons yeah those are very fleeting reasons right like essentially whether it's like financial or like you said just like to be famous and once you're achieved then it's like what's the next yeah well right I mean some people are obviously very well motivated by money and they could continue to well yeah guys have billionaires and they keep going for more you know but uh it comes back to the beginning really where you said you need to find a balance that at some point as far as how much you want to work to get something yeah right because in order to be a high achiever you're gonna always be pushing yourself and you know you can't really relax yeah alright and I guess you have to ask yourself like how important is it to achieve all this versus being able to be at peace with myself and I didn't see back there going to Costa Rica and this Chile got you know you know the fishermen versus the businessman right right and so there's a balance between they how much you really want to go out there and do all these crazy things that you super famous and be super wealthy course is just being happy with yourself I think they're very different philosophies oh yeah but completely if they're polar opposites but I I think because I I would like to be the guy that's at peace you know but it's not who I am not right now like right now I'm out to accomplish in my do things like so that's where my heart is but I think that comes a time in every person's life where they're gonna want to like okay I've done enough and relax and I think there's a time for that I think their fate as we go through but ultimately as humans we are striking a balance my balance may not be the same as your balance or balance maybe oh well we're not clones we're all different yeah so well your balance maybe I know a friend of mine that found that piece early on and they don't haven't accomplished like much in life but they're perfectly happy my a man good for you like they find that balance early on in life like for me that balance is somewhere else but like I think that I think that's how we are like we can be like everything you do at this there's a balance you can't be overly ambitious because I think that's an unhealthy lifestyle and eventually it you know it will corrode you if it doesn't if you don't balance that out with something else I don't want to be a bum either you know I don't want to be the guy who's just like sits by the beach all day doing absolutely nothing like I'd like to do that once a week maybe twice a week one day but yeah like it's it's it's interesting because I judge it does expose you to this conundrum and I think it's one of the most interesting topics regarding human condition is this discussion about you know ambition versus you know relaxing one of my favorite philosophers is Schopenhauer there are two Schopenhauer a he's he's on the other end of the spectrum goes like you know life is painful right and it's because you have ambition ambition brings pain so he compares life to a pendulum between boredom and accomplishment so you complicate bored because you accomplished then you got accomplished something else and then you get bored and there's no end to that you're at your trap in this eternal cycle of misery because no matter what car you buy the next week you want a better car no matter how nice your car is you know you got a better car you know by next year and whatever and to him like the way out of that is a trap you believe that that was a trap there's no escaping this the trap the way out of this was through arts the enumeration and the appreciation of art because art to him was an end in itself when you listen to music and you appreciate music for what it is you're not aspiring for anything like that is music isn't it in itself and that's kind of how I look at jujitsu these days really in the most genuine art form that I I love jujitsu for what it is I don't have to get anything before I have to get something out to just it was a means to win it my ambition I had to prove it to myself or whatever right I like medals I I have an ego I want to be seen and recognized or whatever but I look at you just very differently now and I feel like an art form in the sense where I can go and can go to the gym and I can roll with you and have a good time and I don't have to win you see what I'm saying where's ten years ago if I didn't win I'd be like it would upset me you know because I was trying to prove something it's different and I think when you look at your judge like that of the form of art that brings you peace and then that's when jujitsu it's at its best well it's similar to what I would tell my fighters or any competitive really the goal of competition is not to win yeah the at least for me the goal of competition was always to do your best because winning is not something that a fighter determines that's what the judges or the referee and we've seen people get robbed from all sorts of bad decisions and there's things that happen that are out of your control you know and most of us when you're competing the stress is about winning I don't want to lose it further in front of my girlfriend or I don't want to lose and discipline a coach and how many times you have a competitor go oh sorry and they lose it's like don't be sorry to me don't worry you look down yeah I really do feel you disappointed yeah because they have this thing right so to me the whole goal is just to do your best if you did your best that's all as a coach I can ask how to the competitor but doing your best is not easy either that means you you came in be paired you went to training every day you died in riot and you came in so it's a very ambitious goal to do your best but if I see a fighter does their best or they're close to it I'm happy with it right and that's a competitor I would feel happy with that as well because now I can say in the art form I'm part of a composition you know and the match hopefully was a beautiful match with people yeah watch right and that was a part of that I've had battles where I was like when I lost to you I had no shame about it I put out everything I had yeah and you know I thought was a good match yeah I'm interesting you know I thought other people what they do always does that change over time because I remember losing back in a day and destroyed it sent me into the closest thing I've been to a depression like I was I couldn't sleep at night like I'd be like it sometimes even cry like I just like could not stand losing I just hated every ounce of it whereas now I'm like I am happy and glad that I lost - final of the world champions of Roger Gracie because they taught me so much I can look at Lucy now and go and I'm glad it happened but not at the time that make sense no I'm asking you like I wanted at the moment they're so like I've adopted this when I was started competing in wrestling I didn't have it at all I would I would lose and I would cry like high school wrestlers are very under equipped and handling crybaby like you go we don't harm it's like the one before states we just like yeah we got to be the top for my brothers I'm senior year and I was going into the I guess the quarterfinals match to determine the doubt for and I was warming up my brother and then I saw one of my colleague come out music he starts laying things and me my brother at each other losing the quarterfinals yet to the go rival and then I'm in the backroom smash in the lockers yeah I have a gap you know I remember it was though it was one of the few times I saw my father cry because like he's story you know yeah he saw me so emotional you talking to me oh man this is a good yeah but it was meaningless is it freaking you know it's it's crazy how much this affects you a guy now I look back and I go I that was pathetic Robert what were you thinking why were you crying you know but at the time it was just like my world was collapsing like it is nothing more important to me it's it was painful remember the feeling yeah it was what you know shouldn't matter yeah like so like like afterwards once I started competing in MMA need to be and doing jujitsu stuff it didn't really bother me as much because I I felt like it's just about putting my best you know I've lost some matches where I was really disappointing myself and it's because I'm a neither giant of errors in the match so I'm like I'm better than that I mean or under bad preparation for that match so I went in and only like I didn't do my best going in so there was some times I won matches but they were sloppy yeah I wasn't happy see that that's that's happening me too like I'm more proud of so my losses this on my wins because I said sloppy Wednesday yeah that's some fights I lost that I've battled through like I lost but I mean I fought to the best of my ability he was just better that day you know like I I didn't play it tactically right or whatever the case is but yeah like losing hasn't affected me like that in a long time well yeah like even in training though like I don't it doesn't bother me as much or is they used to really bother you kind of have to accept it too you start oh yeah you know like I don't I sound like a lot older than I actually have on my body's I like Hurst like I'm not my body can take the same amount of training that it used to for sure so you have to accept it there's no there's no way out of it and I was trained like the beat or the other day and you're like man he's putting them but I gotta run with him and like yeah like they're like like a year ago like okay you know now it's like man because like they're doing this and you're doing that yes I'm not sure exactly if we're here we're here I'm not sure yeah like that's I'm still like wait am I still know maybe I don't know you don't know exactly where you're situated or the grand scheme of things but I think the more especially in that gym like yours well you have so many excellent yeah students and competitors you have to be a lot more humble earlier because like man think it's hard to stay on top of that hill and I mean that's a tough I will say I was like when I was training in example like it might give in Miami for a while it was just me my brother yeah so me and my brother had these fierce battles but there wasn't really anybody else to challenge his half because we were building up our students but then a certain point and now we had a lot of top dogs it became harder towards the end it was now like I was I think I'm a gem I am we have a lot of smaller guys a lot of 140s a lot of more 50s phenomenal but they're all lighter so when I was towards the end of it man Miami I was like 190 200 it was hard for people to get me but I had such a size advantage and also a technical advantage and then when I started coming over here now I got guys my size higher skill level or bigger than me well there okay now I gotta put my humble hat on like in and but I will say this though like it's exhausting to try to be that dominant guy in the gym all the time like because I am I hit is it's very primal and it's very irrational and I'm I'm not proud of it but I'm just being honest yeah when I was younger I had to be the best guy in the gym like I just had to be like it bothered me as someone was better than me like whoever that was even if I was a blue belt like whoever that was I think that's the guy I got that's the guy I got a beat like that was my target like I had to beat him so he'd be tapping me but the next time you train he taught me only twice instead of three times yeah the next time once it like okay we're making progress next time I gotta catch him right but it gets the point where like I kind of don't want to be that guy to be honest anymore man like it's exhausting because it's a huge responsibility man because it's a race yeah and I gives like man is sprinting for a long time and it's kind of appalling okay I can jog a little bit and I'll sprint a little bit then I'll jog was like first before is just like I have to be that bad guy it is an exhausting place to be and I think it's natural so natural progression of things is this it like if you're in competitor you're always in that race yeah all right but if you're not competing full-time professional but you said it's gonna be exhausting and also you're probably putting yourself in harm's way more often than not and letting your ego like saying oh I can't lose to this guy because I have this preconceived notion that I'm better than the one that and that's what gets you and hold you hold you back like I I think that my fear of losing held me back a lot throughout my career I was so terrified of losing yeah that I didn't perform as well and as much as I could have had I not been so freaked out about it you're right it also limits you from playing around because say you're only gonna play your a game if you're worried about winning you know and if you're worried about winning then you're only playing that one game and you're not expanding the rest of it that Oh a stability training don't worry about losing just play hard but play everything don't display your strengths because you already know you're strong there and there's like diminishing gains on that same path yeah whereas you might have giant holes in your game here that you can make a lot of headway yeah fast you know but if you're always worried about winning you're never you know you're not gonna take that risk because when you play that new game you're gonna get crushed here's not the way a sports psychologist told put it this way to me and it made a lot it doesn't make sense but it does make a lot of sense a Centon it was like this you have to want to win a lot more than you are worried about losing you have to want to win not not one of those so you can't tell you so if I can't lose that's not how you think you have to think I want to win yes sir and it took wasn't the same thing was like it's in theory yeah you look at it's like guys like you want you want to win and not lose yeah of course but it means that it's it's their mindsets your approach because negativity affects you oh yeah and it's not because the universe is conspiring in your favor it's because your mind understands what you you are visualize if you visualize a loss you're programming your mind natsu to accept that like oh it's someone's taking me down you accept to take down when it happens because you've seen yourself do you take it down so many times well this split-second decision comes to do the wrong thing whereas if you have that positive outcome you know you program your mind think of his computer program it for victory and success your mind will do the right thing at the right time yeah your mind doesn't also handle negative statements well for example if I tell you guys they look in the camera don't think of pink elephant decibels you just thought of them right and then say testicle the pink elephant man I just picture the pink one cupful you can never get that image out of there like why did i watch this video that's horrible but that's the problem you say don't lose yeah because you seem lose I like that that yes yeah that can't do it doesn't work out you're right right it's like when I hear coaches sometimes like to me it's a mature level mistake of a coach when they go you're not tired because you just told you athlete you're tired not right and that's how the mind processes that statement yeah you see you got you too tired yeah so you guys say you're full of energy or you know you gotta use that the positive version of the statement and all forms of coaching and self-talk as well you have to avoid using negative statements because they they don't belong people you're right people don't react well to negativity that's you're right about that like that but it's a thing to like I think sometimes like as a coach I caught the sandwich that's in this the method I use like I'll give you hop McGee good job Dave yeah that was really good man by the way you're doing this system this wrong but men that's much better than last time I keep it up buddy right because I feel it some coaches are so worried about their especially men may you see a lot of this biz it's a very different dynamic and I one of the Midford podcast I want to talk about this dynamic at link because it's a fascinating dynamic where the firefighters actually ahead of the camp it's not like if you're a wrestler in college the coach what time to go and what time to stop yes sir if you're an MMA fighter you tell the coaches what's going on because you pay them and there's terrified of losing their jobs so there's a lot of that going on and like I I'm the kind of coach where I tell my fight I like to tell my friends what they need to hear okay you know I'll give you a compliment too but Amy if you're doing something wrong it's my job to correct you sure but a lot of Fighters are so scared of a lot of coaches are so scared of correcting their fighters because they don't hurt their feelings they don't want upset him they want to lose their job same thing goes for jiu-jitsu coach in a gym fight terror my students apart by telling the truth all the time I might lose a few students because they want to be around people who give them the positive message but the problem with a positive message all the time that doesn't improve on you because it's too much if that your comfort zone so I think my solution of this and this is like a podcast and so if we could do this some other time David it's it's the sandwich I'm a big fan of the sand yeah you give them at like the turf sandwich you know and you you you've got you gotta feed on like a man this is what you're messin up otherwise you can't you're not really help yeah we call that a PCP praise God praise praise quickly yeah it's a very good teaching mechanism because you say it disarmed somebody cuz that's the other thing when you see a Sen coaching all the time where that someone's doing something wrong they go no no no no no and then they do the correction yeah and when you hear that no you like oh my god like it's exactly what happens you know though because you get that reaction if you if you initiate what they don't know yeah you gotta be so sick that's why a coaching is so much more than just show people host you put on get that man they think I'm gonna open a gym I know a thousand sweeps I'm good to go and like man that's like 1% of the equation yeah that's why there's a lot of black belt competitors there are terrible coaches yeah because it's a it's an art form in itself you get better at it and it's a skill you have to learn how to teach you what that you know I think think I learned well because my father was a big-time teacher he loved to teach me my brother everything in philosophy sciences and data and then my brother and I in college we tutored a lot of people and then so they kind of came along that stand there were we started learning how to teach good and we also practiced courses and how to teach and all of our instructors learned this their training program before they actually become a coach as well so like it's an important skill in itself like you said this it's not just the message it's how the message is to look how you deliver and I think that's the other the tricky thing is everyone's different too you have to learn your students and that's such a that's why it's such an exhausting job even will realize how exhausting coaching is because you know I I always make this analogy like if you're an accountant and you deal with numbers write a 7 is always a 7 there's not a morning where number 7 wakes up and goes I feel like a 6 today and tomorrow I'm gonna feel like an 8 it doesn't happen right but people are like that people they change how they feel about you how they feel about the gym how they tell about training how they feel about the training partners their feelings are there's a lot of moving parts and balancing that all out when you have a lot of students is a art like I understand why like gyms have offered a rule a certain size and then they they they start they fragment that they don't you know it's very hard to keep that cohesiveness after a certain number because there's a tendency for that to happen especially I've had a lot of high-ranking students I've been a lot better at it over the years to the point where like I think I I got to understand what are the pieces that what is the glue thank you had to hold it together and it's not something you maybe some people have a knack for I like to have a natural gift for that that that's social sort of intelligence but it is a skill in itself and like it's and it's very important to coaching it's not just when people coach and you're not just talking about technique man there's a lot of social intelligence it goes as it goes and like in the in MMA for example I've seen large guys that are call the amazing coaches you know what they really are they're good friends with the wife they're just funny they're just fun hang out with you know they're just a witty guy who says the right thing at the right time and they're just cool with the kids and that's the great coach has nothing to do with technique yeah there's nothing to do with actual coaching but that guy is the amazing coach because he's friends with everyone in the camp everyone likes I've seen that happen quite a few times to bad effects because that that cool guy that always gives you all the positive affirmation gives you fills your head up with ideas splits you off to the camp and then he's like oh now that you lost the actual source of knowledge yeah you just have a lot of good feelings but not a lot of good fighting skills and I see people will just talk their career after those type of moves so yeah it is it can be dangerous and managing a culture you know a little society is tricky it is managing a society Iraq exactly so what do you think about scale when we're talking about you know several hundred four or five hundred people maybe in their one Jim and then you're talking about a city and then you talk about that country the levels of stress it's imagined I like it was like I want to be the next u.s. president I think it's on a horrible job stress you can see everybody who's gone through the aging that happens do Obama had white hair like six months in office yeah he went from having like you look like a one-year-old next thing you know he looks fifty it's an incredible burden yeah I mean so like people like oh it's a dream job I think no I think those people we got regardless about what you care about the ideologies the amount of work and stress that they're under especially for the president United States the most important job imagine responsibility yeah Dave like I I want to pick pick up from this on this coaching topic next time for sure because there's plenty of material there I think that uh I think actually think that coaches will relate more to this conversation and students ever will because to this day it's like one of those things if you've never seen green you have no idea being looks like you have to you have to you have to experience it from the inside to know exactly what it's like and it's a very rewarding but very demanding job except I maybe we can that be the topic for the next one we're sure though and yeah that's there so we'll wrap it up for today thank you guys for joining us and our fourth podcast was breaking the guard if you haven't already make sure you follow us on social media or breaking the guard on the Instagram Facebook and we also have our youtube channel as well and we're on iTunes now and on the Google Play Store so you can look us up and subscribe to our Channel thank you thank you guys until next time [Music]